The waters of our oceans have ebbed and flowed since they were made manifest.
We strive for balance, but is it futile?
Does consistency exist as an absolute?
Are they mere human constructs we foolishly believe in?
Even in nature, external forces will inflict chaos upon any system at some time or another.
We can only strive for harmony.
If we don’t strive for harmony, we foster chaos.
Dawn awaits.
We travel toward the horizon,
but with each step closer,
the destination doesn’t appear any nearer.
Our sun is looming,
stirring beneath the blanket of night;
its clock is
not our clock; our sacred times
are not synchronized.
Shall it then
be used as a reference point?
Its worth is in the light is provides us.
But its curse
is in the annual reminder
that we’re one year closer to an end.
If desire is ’sin’,
then the greatest human sin
is the desire for more than what we have
in this corporeal form.
The greatest tragedy for one who believes in an afterlife
is the realization that there is no more than what is housed within this world.
I am sorry for all those that live their lives based on what might be after physical death,
because there are no guarantees,
and they may miss out on their one opportunity for happiness.
If there is an afterlife,
then I do not fear, because I don’t believe in one absolute path to access it.
Our world’s cultures and beliefs are too
beautifully discrete
to believe only one has the correct answer.
Right now I am thankful.
I love and I am loved.
I am still working out a solid plan of action for my future, but I think it gets easier with each day. And with my initiative, I hope things will fall into place more easily, as I have had the opportunity to see happen before.
At a point like this, I would want to thank some higher power for all the good things in my life. It seems the custom of most folk, which I’ve witnessed on all sorts of award shows. But instead, I’d like just like to thank everyone I’ve come across. Every entity that had something to do with my being here right now as well as every choice made to get here.
It seems like I only ever come here to write when I am troubled. Well, so be it. I tried to sleep but the sleeping was more like sobbing into my pillow and if you know anything about that, you know it’s really impossible to sleep on a sopping pillow.
I’ve encountered a new feeling lately. I try not to think about it much because it brings about an awful feeling in me and it’s difficult to shake off. I have this goal I’ve been working toward for just over a year, you know (if you’ve been reading along). I will finally be completing it next summer, which is wonderful, but now I see my future after it completely black. I feel like there’s just a very dark precipice ahead of me. It’s discomforting.
I feel like I’ve lost my will to keep moving ahead of that. I don’t know what to do with myself now.
I’ve been feeling really weak as of late and I haven’t been able to focus on work. I have this nervous feeling that makes me sick to my stomach.
I want to plan for grad school but my desire seems to have disappeared.
I wish I wasn’t this sad
and that it didn’t ache so much
I want to ask Santa for an Off switch for my tears.
~
Beneath the canopy of luminescent
white linen the outer sphere is obscured;
We keep looking toward the edges, but
become blind within our beloved domain.
I planted seeds in the garden,
but it was autumn and no one told me.
I planted seeds in the garden,
but I only saw the soil.
