It’s Christmas day. I’m in a recliner sipping anisette and watching Before Sunrise. This was a brilliant idea put into film: a story of two people meeting on a train, sharing an intense connection and spending the rest of night together in Vienna, talking, until morning when one must depart back to the states and the other back to Paris. This had to have been written by a woman, but it’s pretty much what I want in a relationship at this point in my life: 12 hours of intense engagement through minds, through bodies, through shared experiences, and then it ends. No prolonged stress, no agony, just enjoyment, appreciation, and an eagerness and openness to learn and understand the other without the residue of a history of conflicts that those in long-term relationships may have. Simplicity.
Monthly Archives: December 2011
Sweet Scents
Men: Do not go without a proper cologne when in the presence of a fair counterpart. Post caresses, she may find herself relishing the residue of your scent on her skin–this is when your memory is captured via the most important of our senses, and when you’ve stolen a bit of her soul estate.
I may not be able to travel the world, but I can surely let the world travel my pants.
Mom: “Why do you only go out with gay men?”
Henny: “That’s not true; I go out with non-gays!”
Mom: “Name one person you go out with regularly that is not gay”
Henny: “Umm…what about *******?”
Mom: “Name a male”
Henny: “Err…”
This is where I’d love to say: “My habitual one night stands and inability to maintain platonic relationships with men unless they’re homos keeps me from simple nights out for fun times with ungays. I understand that what you’d really like is to see me engaged and prepping for a future of babymaking and domestic bliss, but, you see, I’m trying to amass a thousand lovers from all over the world before consciousness evaporates from my gummy headspace and my flesh rots off, and it’s just not plausible while doing that whole monogamous marriage thing. Sorries! Maybe later.” But I keep quiet instead so as not to catapult her into cardiac arrest.
