I never feel as alive
as when we go downtown.
We don’t fear anyone.
We welcome everyone.
Ewe
Nye
Ted
Ewe
Nye
Ted
As wild as our instincts
We feed
on need.
We feed
and breed.
We feed
on greed.
We feed
I’ll lead.
What use is “no”?
No is fear.
No is death.
Are you prepared to live?
Then say yes.
There is no loss
When there was never gain.
Act, not for afterdeath
but for life –
This is happiness.
Dawn awaits.
We travel toward the horizon,
but with each step closer,
the destination doesn’t appear any nearer.
Our sun is looming,
stirring beneath the blanket of night;
its clock is
not our clock; our sacred times
are not synchronized.
Shall it then
be used as a reference point?
Its worth is in the light is provides us.
But its curse
is in the annual reminder
that we’re one year closer to an end.
If desire is ‘sin’,
then the greatest human sin
is the desire for more than what we have
in this corporeal form.
The greatest tragedy for one who believes in an afterlife
is the realization that there is no more than what is housed within this world.
I am sorry for all those that live their lives based on what might be after physical death,
because there are no guarantees,
and they may miss out on their one opportunity for happiness.
If there is an afterlife,
then I do not fear, because I don’t believe in one absolute path to access it.
Our world’s cultures and beliefs are too
beautifully discrete
to believe only one has the correct answer.
Right now I am thankful.
I love and I am loved.
I am still working out a solid plan of action for my future, but I think it gets easier with each day. And with my initiative, I hope things will fall into place more easily, as I have had the opportunity to see happen before.
At a point like this, I would want to thank some higher power for all the good things in my life. It seems the custom of most folk, which I’ve witnessed on all sorts of award shows. But instead, I’d like just like to thank everyone I’ve come across. Every entity that had something to do with my being here right now as well as every choice made to get here.
Goodness, it’s been so long this box no longer even feels like home. How could I have forsaken you!
I’ve been so focused in my studies I haven’t taken the time to reflect upon what I’ve learned. I get so tired, mentally, I just want to waste my free time away on things that don’t involve much critical thinking.
I’ve been fairly isolated. I ventured out with a couple old friends a few weeks back and partook in activities I had not done in at least a year. It was very strange. I did a lot of talking and thinking as I always did, but I felt uncomfortable. I had trouble engaging my peers and I preferred writing my ideas out in general concepts. When I read what I’d written, it was pretty much a review of topics covered in my classes.
What I tapped into during this altered experience just reified how focused I am within academia. Sometimes it seems like I’m one of those “all or nothing” people. The more I know myself, the less it seems that I am a multitasker. Yes, I can do different things within the same period of time, but when it comes to doing something absolutely excellently, I can only focus on one thing. So far. My next goal will be to learn to balance all important aspects of my life. Right now I am just so desperate to complete my BA I can barely think of anything else.
I just had a vision of life being densely packed with many opaque layers. I’m envisioning it as a sort of flower or fruit. In this momentary vision, I saw a layer removed. Age does this. Experience does this. In reflection it seems as though my person, my essence, my soul (however you wish to classify it) is born as some thick, densely packed object. My goal is to reach the center. That center, to me, is Enlightenment. But there are so many layers to get through and they are all opaque. I have no idea what’s in the center (Tootsie Roll pop jokes will be checked at the door, please) and I don’t know how long it will take to get there. But I know there is an imperative for me to get there. I don’t know if the imperative is natural/instinctual or learned and it doesn’t seem to matter. I need to get there.
The path to get there is curious. I think I am over the attempt to arrive there religiously. As in through an established world/organized religion. Right now I’d say I’ve got most of my eggs in the Academic basket, but part of me knows it’s not that simple. I think I will spend the rest of my life stumbling along, slowly uncovering layers until that final glorious day. I have this feeling that I may only uncover that final stratum on the day I die, because no human could continue living life as we know it once the truth has been unmasked.
I often wonder if all my contemplation is alienating me or bringing me closer to the human community. When I am in social situations, which has become rare these days, I feel as though I am a spectator. Have I already become the anthropologist, the ethnographer? Being an insider has become difficult. I feel awkward as a participator at times. I’m not there right now, mentally.
I feel like a balloon that’s lost its anchor to the earth and is slowly ascending toward infinity. I wonder when I shall lose grasp of my corporeal vessel. (I hope it’s not soon.)
Occasionally, I think humans are predictable disappointments. But I want to focus on what I don’t know about us. I’m really sick of the world the media glorifies. And it’s no surprise I am so disappointed in humanity if what I see on popular tv/film/etc is a reflection of society or of its ideals. I think that’s why I’m so drawn to Anthropology. I have a desire to learn about cultures that aren’t my own and through the study of other cultures, I hope to understand my own better. But it doesn’t just stop at culture. I want to know why we are the way we are. It’s a pretty lofty ideal. Maybe I’ll never achieve it, but I think I’ll have some fun traveling on that road.
Jenka Potente's meandering mind. 